My latest stop on the 8th Continent Soymilk Taste of Life Tour was in Metropolis to go to the Superman Museum. This town is awesome. They know that Metropolis means Superman to most people who hear the word- and they love it!
On their Welcome into their city sign there is a flying Superman depicted and below it says: “Welcome to metropolis! Home to Superman!”
So I drive through this little quaint town and find the Superman museum which is located in the back of a small gift shop cluttered with Superman paraphernalia. Before you enter into the gift shop- you HAVE to take a picture with the Superman body/your head- making you feel like a complete tourist- but hey! Who cares?!? You’re in Metropolis!

Then you turn to your left and you see the huge statue of Superman in front of the main town’s building. He is standing there as heroic as ever- and if you look at his feet close enough- you notice the entire platform is that famous “S” symbol.
So I entered into the gift shop- looked at the overpriced S symbols and comics and DC stuff that reminded me of my childhood. (If you ever doubted I was a dork before- now you can rest assured.) The museum cost a measly $5 to get in. And if you wonder why I call it measly then let me tell you what they had hidden back there! Most of the display cases sported as much dust as they did fingerprints- so you could tell they weren’t exactly worried about cleaning that much- or the owner was very particular about touching these gems of the past.
Back there was the first EVER Superman costume. There were things from every Superman TV show, every comicbook, I mean I actually had to read the nameplate to catch some of the obscure degrees of separation back to Superman. Truly amazing.
I walked out of the back rooms/museum and was eager to go stand in awe in front of the giant Superman statue- and then I saw it… or more exact- them!


Batman comicbooks? Batman bumper stickers? Batman notebooks? I looked around frantically wondering if someone had planted these things- knowing that this couldn’t possibly be expected. Now don’t get me wrong- I love Batman- with his rugged looks and daring charm; but EVERYONE knows there has always been a feud between Batman and Superman. And here we are- in the supposedly one safe haven for pro-Superman fans- and the attendance is getting accosted with Batman products.
OK, OK- I may be over-reacting. But seriously this seems like someone is trying to start some nerd rage fights. It just isn’t right! Blasphemous I say! So now we come to the real question… the one everyone is always thinking about day in and day out. What I wonder to myself on the treadmill and while lying on the beach. Who is better? Batman or Superman???
Now- in the sense of the 8th Continent Soymilk lover that I am. Superman is totally a dairy milk guy. I mean come on! He is known to other super heroes as the Big Blue Boy Scout! So I can only imagine how many “super farts” he creeps out during one crime fighting event.
Batman however totally seems like an 8th Continent Chocolate Soymilk drinker. Him and I could share a bowl of deliciously chocolate cocoa puffs while I wipe the tears away from his handsome face- telling me about his parents and what made him become a crime fighter. (In my mind I imagine that I would be his female confidant/ girlfriend… but what girl doesn’t imagine that?)
So to make this more clear let’s get some facts straight.
Superman doesn’t kill. In the late 40’s he swore that the day he killed would be the day he hung his cape up and retired. Batman, on the other hand, does. Batman’s rule is to use no guns- although he broke this rule once in I believe 2006.
Superman was born with certain powers due to his heritage. Superman’s arsenal of powers has included flight, super-strength, invulnerability to non-magical attacks, super-speed vision powers (including x-ray, heat-emitting, telescopic, infra-red, and microscopic vision), super-hearing, and super-breath, which enables him to blow out air at freezing temperatures, as well as exert the propulsive force of high-speed winds.
“faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound”
On the other hand, Batman possesses no super-powers; he makes use of intellect, detective skills, science and technology, wealth, physical prowess, and intimidation in his war on crime.
Superman has been known to be lonely- despite having a wife and all. And he whines and ponders about his home planet, and doesn’t kill, and wears spandex, and seems kinda like a cry-baby… well, when he isn’t kicking crimes ass. And one more important note- in 2006 Superman gets stripped of his powers- although they are restored within a fictional year. He also has a weakness to kryptonite. He becomes practically paralyzed- and if exposed for too long, will die. So there are some obvious weaknesses. Like I can only imagine him turning to someone and saying something super- non super hero like… “I just want to be held.”
Batman is dark and brooding. Like he would light candles, cook you dinner, have some intellectual conversation and then go out and fight crime. Come home and cuddle and not want to talk about the horrors he had seen and resurrected that night. He would sometimes break a plate at dinner in a fit of unexpected rage… but it is also that craziness that allows him to scare the living crap out of the wrong-doers of Gotham City. Dressed as a bat, Batman deliberately cultivates a frightening persona in order to aid him in crime fighting, a fright that originates from the criminals own guilty consciousness which Batman cleverly reminds and stimulates.
And Batman has his own feelings about Superman. In Superman/Batman #3, Batman observes:
“It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then…he shoots fire from the skies, and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to him.”
Later though,Batman admonished him for identifying with humanity too much and failing to provide the strong leadership that superhumans need.
And do I need to mention how much better Batman Begins was compared to Superman Returns???
Ok- I can’t make this decision for you… but I have provided the facts and some of the arguing points. You decided! Leave comments and let me know- Batman vs. Superman? And if you can’t tell yet- I kinda have a crush on Batman… and I choose him.
Come join me on my adventures! Next stop is the Chicago Humanities Festival!